Last Kiss, Or is It?
by the book lady
Summary: Clary left her town after a tragic breakup to start anew in New York, but what happens when her old boyfriend, Jace Wayland, is the new student at her school? Did they ever have a last kiss? Major Clace. Now a collab with writer3098.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N So this is my new story, its AH and a bit OOC because I tried to write a fic where they were shadowhunters and I discovered I can't write action, only fluff and angst. So here it is, the prologue to my new, angsty, fluffy, multi chapter fiction! Hopefully, I'll finish it. _

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Prologue  
The rain pounded down on the ground around her as she ran further and further away without looking back. She wasn't enough. She could never be enough. Not enough for Jace Wayland. She was just Clary, and just Clary wasn't enough. How could she not be enough? She'd laid her heart down, and she said she loved him, and he'd said it back but she wasn't enough. He didn't want her. In the back of her mind she heard Jace calling out to her, telling her to turn around, but she wasn't going to listen. By the time she reached her small apartment her jacket was thoroughly soaked, and her wet converse made her feet cold, but she didn't care anymore. All of her physical feeling was gone, her heart was only focused on the tremendous emotional pain bursting in her chest and running through her veins. Clary threw open her bedroom door any collapsed on the bed, a heavy sob racking through her chest. Her whole body shook with the force of her crying and trembling whimpers escaped her throat as she clutched at her shoulders. Not enough, not enough, was all she could think. _

_The next day her foster dad Luke told her his job got transferred, and they would be moving soon. Clary was glad, that would mean she would no longer have to see Jace at school, and she could start fresh, with new friends who wouldn't abandon her when she needed them most. _

_At her new school, St. Xavier's, she made new friends with a nice kid Simon Lewis and a girl Isabelle Lightwood, her brother Alec, Alec's boyfriend Magnus Bane, and a girl Maia Roberts. They were all really nice, not popular like the skank Aline Penhallow or Haelie Feywood. Clary was content with her new life in Brooklyn, until one very unwanted figure of her past showed up as the new student at her high school. _

_Jace Wayland was back._

_A/N I know it was short, but I wanted to type the prologue separate, and I'll hopefully have the real first chapter up by the end of tonight! Goodbye my lovelies!_

_~Da Book Lady~_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Here's the first chapter, sorry it wasn't up last night. Oh and the prologue was really short. This is longer, but even this is short for me. Normally my chapters are around 2600 words to 3500 words. I wanna give major thanks to the people who reviewed the prologue. That was awesome of you because honestly, I didnn't expect to get any reviews for something that short. SO THANK YOU to hots4jasper261, Once In Every Life time, WOOP WOOP, cridge15, and hawaiiangrl. And special thanks to hawaiiangrl because you were one of the people who read my last fic and you stuck with me for this one so THANK YOU! Chapter songs: Better in Time-Leona Lewis, That Day-Tokio Hotel, and Last Kiss-Taylor Swift

Disclaimer: I realize I forgot a disclaimer last time so here it is now! I don't own anything. Normally I try to make these funny, but today I'm still half asleep.

Clary smiled and tugged on her best friend Simon's arm, dragging him into homeroom. He grunted in protest and reluctantly slid into a chair next to hers. For some reason, today Simon did not want to cooperate. Today was their first day back from spring break, and Simon did not want to be at school today. He laid his head on the desk with a thump and mumbled "I hate you." At Clary and she just smiled.

"Love you too Simon." Simon groaned again and Clary laughed, but her laughter was cut short by someone squealing her name.

"CLARY!" she turned to see Isabelle running through the doorway dragging Alec along behind her. Funny, everyone seemed to be dragging somebody today. Izzy came barreling towards her at an impossibly fast pace for the height of the heels she had on and Clary was pulled into a hug.

"I missed you Iz." Clary smiled into her taller friend's shoulder. Alec stood awkwardly and tiredly in the corner until Magnus strode in looking fabulous, as always, with an immense amount of glitter and rainbow.

"Hello my darlings." Magnus drawled in a lazy tone and hugged Alec, who blushed before giving into the hug. Magnus whispered something in Alec's ear which made Alec's face even redder, and then he broke the hug and took one long stride over to where Isabelle and Clary were standing. Clary frowned.

"Now I'm surrounded by tall people. You guys need to shrink."

"Maybe the issue is the other way around. Clary, I think the problem is that you need to grow." Magnus smirked.

"Well it's nice to see you too Maggie dearest." Clary smiled and Magnus gagged.

"Don't call me that."

Isabelle laughed and Clary's smile grew even larger. She really missed her friends over spring break. They broke into conversation of what they did over break and were cut off as the bell rang, so they took their seats and made Simon wake up. The teacher came in, and a kid was following her. Clary couldn't see his face, but she swore he was familiar. Something about the way he walked, it was the kind of walk that said 'I'm hot and I know it' and the way the light reflected off his blonde curls. When he looked up and his tawny gold eyes met her green ones she was instantly flooded with memories, and the teacher didn't have to say his name for her to know who he was. Jace Wayland. The exact person she escaped when she moved to Brooklyn. He took one glance at her, and Clary thought his eyes softened, but then his face turned to steel and he showed absolutely no emotion as the teacher introduced him to the class, and he took a seat in the back on the other side of Clary. She cringed, and raised her hand.

"Um, Mrs. Herondale, can I use the restroom? I don't feel too well." The teacher frowned, and then said fine. Clary got up and stared at her feet the whole way out of the classroom, and all the way down the hall. When she got to the bathroom she hastily locked herself in a stall and collapsed onto the closed toilet. Quiet tears streamed down her face as her mind exploded with painful memories from her past.

_Flashback_

_"I love you." Clary whispered as she laced her fingers with his. She felt him tense and she turned to look at Jace. His shoulders were stiff and his eyes were hard with some expression, worry? Clary stretched up to touch her lips to his, but he pushed her away. "Jace? Are you okay?"_

_"Clary, I- I can't. I just, can't." He stuttered. His gaze was stony and his amber eyes were cold. His jaw was set in a hard line and Clary realized he was shutting off. _

_"Why Jace? Why now?" She asked, her voice raising an octave with her nerves. _

_"Clary, you, I, we can't. I'm sorry."_

_"Am I not good enough?" She asked, her surprise replaced with rage and hurt. Was Jace really breaking up with her? "Fine. I'll go." She said and the sky opened up and the rain started pouring down, and Clary was glad, because that meant Jace couldn't see her tears. Then she thought to herself _how cliché _and broke into a run. She was faintly aware of her foot sliding into a puddle and she heard a voice calling after her, unmistakably Jace's, but she wasn't going back. _

_End Flashback_

She shuddered with the painful memory and let the tears fall shamelessly. No one would see them. Clary still didn't know why Jace broke up with her that night, she never had the chance to find out. Now that he was back, did she really want to? Clary was so happy in her new life in Brooklyn, she had real friends, and didn't have to worry about a boyfriend, because she knew she couldn't stand to have one, not after what happened. Now as Clary thought about it, she wondered, does she hate Jace? No, a tiny voice in the back of her head said, and the part of her brain with more common sense shut it up before she could hear it.

Jpov (kinda)

Jace watched as Clary left the classroom and sighed in frustration. What were the chances of her going to his new school, let alone being in his homeroom? He hated that he was going to have a lot of explaining to do for her. After that night she just, disappeared. The neighbors said her foster dad Luke got a job transfer to Brooklyn, but Jace was bothered by a tiny voice saying she left because of him. Now, he found out that they really did move to Brooklyn, and he hated that he had to move here too. He really regretted what he did that night last year, and wanted so badly to solve it, now that they went to the same school. He had thought about it every night since, why he did it, and how bad it hurt her. She probably wouldn't even talk to him now, not after what he did.

Flashback in Jace first person pov

_I have to do this. I thought as we walked down the sidewalk. Tonight, I need to breakup with her tonight, it's for her own good. I kept telling myself that if I stayed with Clary, I would hurt her more in the long run, I'm not good enough for her. I can't tell her that though, she'll deny it and my plan won't have worked. I need to do this. For her. I have to. It's because I love her, that I'm letting her go._

End Flashback, back to a kinda Jpov

Jace ran his hands nervously through his hair, because he was sure Clary recognized him, he was the reason she left, he was sure of it. He leaned back in his chair and watched the teacher take attendance, trying to catch the names of a few people. The nerdy looking kid with the gamer tee was Simon, and the dude with a lot of glitter's name was Magnus. There was a girl in the back with raven black hair and her name was Isabelle, and there was another kid named Alec who looked like he could be related to her. There was an awkward looking kid with dark brown hair whose name was Sebastian, and a girl with obviously dyed blonde hair named Kaelie. She was sitting next to an Asian girl named Aline and off to one corner in the back was a boy with platinum blonde hair called Jonathan. The rest of the period was quiet, except for whispers coming from Aline and Kaelie that were obviously about him, he was hot, and Jace knew that. But right now he was more concerned about Clary returning from the bathroom, and he found out that the girl Isabelle was too, because she asked the teacher if she could see what was taking Clary so long. The teacher, Mrs. Herondale, let her go and Jace stopped worrying.

Ipov, kinda

Isabelle walked out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. _Why had Clary left as soon as the new student came in? He hadn't even said anything to her and she just bolted. _She thought to herself. When she got to that bathroom she called out,

"Clary, I know you're in here, what's up?"

"I'm fine Izzy, I just don't feel good. Tell Mrs. Herondale I'll be back in a little bit." Came her shaky reply from behind one of the stalls. Isabelle sighed.

"Clary, I know you. You were fine before that Jace kid walked in. What problem do you have with him? He didn't even talk to you." Isabelle tapped her foot impatiently before adding, "Can you come out, this is kinda awkward, talking through the stall like this."

"Let's just say I knew him before I came here. And no, I'm not coming out, I don't want you to see me like this." The last sentence was barely a whisper.

"If you don't open that door I will crawl under that stall and drag you out. Come on Clary." Isabelle said in her most demanding voice.

"Fine." Was Clary's only reply. Isabelle heard the scrape of metal on metal as the lock came undone and Clary stepped out with puffy red eyes from crying and splotches on her shirt where the tears had fallen.

"Oh Clary. What happened? " Isabelle whispered and put an arm around her friend's shoulder. Clearly whatever history Clary and Jace had together was a bad one, and Clary needed her friend now, because he was back, and the wound that Clary had had been ripped open that easily, so Isabelle knew it would be a touchy subject.

Clary sniffled again and said "It's fine, can we talk later? I wanna get back to homeroom." So Isabelle gave in and promised herself she would find out more later.

Clary went through the rest of the day in a zombified state. She didn't feel any emotion whatsoever. All she could think was about how close she was to healing. On her walk home from school she absently kicked at a stone. It started to rain but she wasn't even aware of it hitting the ground. She remembered coming home to that empty house and crying her heart out over Jace. She was so close. So close to healing, and she thought for sure the day when she would be okay would come, but it never did. She threw open the door to her and Luke's row house and called out "I'm home!" to the kitchen and got a muffled reply from Luke before she thundered up the stairs to her room and rifled through her closet, before finding what she was looking for. One of Jace's old t-shirts. She threw that on along with a soft pair of shorts and tried to walk over to the bed, but she collapsed on the floor before she could make it. _How can I make you miss me? _She thought_ Why did we ever have that last kiss? What made you change your mind? How can I change it back?_

A/N So their situation is still a little confusing but I intend to keep it that way for awhile to build suspense and whatnot. I will do a chapter in the future that is entirely Jace POV to clear things up, but not now... So my lovelies, push the button and send me a review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N You lucky ducks. I'm updating! And sorry to Nightwolf who wanted me to update on Sunday. Here's my schedule and just for you I'm going to try to work around it to get an updating schedule. I have volleyball for 2 hours on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. I usually have to do homework before that but sometimes I write a little at school. On Thursday I am especially busy because I also have my flute lessons so no updates on Thursday. I'm thinking I can update on Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays (depending on how creative I'm feeling) and maybe Monday. If I update that often I don't think my chapters will be as long but I think I would rather give you a really good, shorter chapter frequently than a really long, maybe boring chapter once a week. Responding to hots4jasper261's review, (I know I could do it in a pm but I want to explain to everyone) I re-read my chapter and saw that it is kinda obvious when I change pov, and the whole identification kinda breaks up the flow of the chapter, so I am gonna try to change it. If the text is in italics then it's a flashback, if it's underlined, it's a dream, and if its bolded then it's a direct quote from the series, I want to have a few of those in here. Normally I write in a third person limited POV, and every now and then I change characters, but I think I'm going to only change at the start of a chapter, to make it less confusing. I really hope this makes you happy, your review really helped me, so I really want to thank you for the thought you put into the review, it made me really happy! And huge thanks to all the people who read and took the time to review! I am getting so much traffic for this story and I feel so motivated! I really love reading your reviews and I hope you'll follow me until the end of this story. It means a lot to me. Sorry for the super long authors note but it was needed. This chapter is more of a filler, but it is important, in a way. It adds to the plot (hopefully) and I think it makes the story seem more realistic. Chapter songs: Haunted- Taylor Swift (Clary's 1st scene), Decoy-Paramore (Jace's 1st scene), Mile Away-Capital Lights (Clary's 2nd scene), and

Disclaimer: I got the rights to the Mortal Instruments series one Saturday, wait no. That was a ticket to the movie Beastly. (which was awesome, I gotta read the book, and that normally is against my rules, but I couldn't find the book, and I wanted to see it in theaters.) So no, I own nothing. Dang.

Clary's dream that night was a painful onslaught of harsh memories. The images were crystalline and sharp, almost sharp enough to cut through her. They were reawakened memories that she had so desperately tried to lock away in the vault in the back of her mind. Over time, Clary thought the lock had rusted, dust had gathered, and the key had been thrown away, she thought those memories were long forgotten. Now, they returned to her with the speed of an arrow, slicing painfully fast through the air, and cutting into her mind, breaking the lock off and sending those hurtful memories tumbling out of that vault. Her dreams were a mash up of these memories, twisted into horrible nightmares.

The sky was a dusty blue as the day turned to afternoon and the bell that signaled the end of lunch was in eight minutes rang. Clary glanced around the front lawn of the school and looked over to where Jace and his soccer buddies were standing. She bit back a dreamy sigh as she noticed how the cloudy afternoon sun danced off his golden curls in brilliants rays of light, and his eyes held that ever playful taunt as he teased one of his friends. Her best friend, Stacey, caught her staring and snapped at her, instantly pulling Clary back down to earth. 

"Don't stare. He's a player, and if you fall for him, you're only asking for heartbreak. My advice, catch yourself while you can." Stacey scoffed and tugged on Clary's arm. "Come on, we should go in and throw our trash away before the bell rings." Clary sighed and stalked off after her friend, throwing one last look over her shoulder at Jace. Just before they reached the door a loud crack of thunder split through the air and the day turned dark as clouds rolled in and the rain came pouring down. Stacey turned around, and now her eyes were all black, no irises or pupils, just solid black orbs. She started saying "I told you so." Over and over again in a scary calm voice. Clary turned to run, but Jace was there all of a sudden, blocking her way. His gaze was steely, just as it had been the night of their breakup, and his posture was rigid. Both Jace and Stacey were saying repeating something, like broken records. Jace's mouth barely moved when he spoke and his words cut through her heart like daggers. "We can't. We can't. We can't" The chant was like a shrill cry in her ears, and Clary tried to scream in frustration, but no sound came out, only air. Like a deflated balloon, Clary crumbled down to the ground, just as the image faded from Clary's eyes.

She awoke with a strangled cry of terror and sat bolt upright in bed, only to realize that she was on the floor, not her bed. She cast a glance at the full length mirror in the corner of her room and saw that she still had socks on, and her braids were still in her hair, even though they were now loose and frizzy tendrils of red hair escaped and trailed down her shoulders. Clary face and shirt were still damp from all her crying, and her eyes were puffy and red with dark circles underneath. She was a mess. Jace's old t-shirt she had worn to bed was horribly wrinkled and had splotches on the sleeve where she had wiped at her damp eyes. Her eyes would not stay open and still held all the tell tale signs of crying. This would be bad and hard to fix, because she didn't own any makeup. None at all. The nightmare had not allowed her to sleep very well, and surely would bug her for the rest of the day. With all of that on her mind, Clary went to her closet to find something to wear, and decided to worry about her hair and eyes later. She decided on some comfy clothes today, because she was in a sour mood. Her t-shirt was one Simon had given her, with the D&D logo on the front. She paired the light gray shirt with her favorite black cargo shorts, and headed to the bathroom to do something about her hair.

She grabbed a comb and yanked it through several times before completely getting all the knots out, and smoothed some stay in conditioner over it to calm the frizz. After tugging it into two, familiar braids she leaned in closer to the mirror to get a better look at her eyes. Some of the redness had gone down, and the bags were less visible, but still there. Since she had no eye shadow, Clary smeared some concealer over her eyelids, since that was the only thing she could think to use. The concealer helped, and satisfied that she at least looked fine, Clary headed down the steps to the kitchen.

"Hey Clary." Luke smiled and passed her a bowl of Fruit Loops with a carton of milk. Clary took the cereal with a fake smile of her own and sat down at the bar shelf.

"Morning Luke." She stirred her cereal and stared emptily at it. Luke was standing across from her, his hair ruffled from sleep and his glasses askew on his nose, making an attempt to read yesterday's paper. He reached up to swat the hair out of his face, and accidentally knocked his glasses into his orange juice.

"Shoot." He sighed. "Can't believe I did that again." Clary laughed at his comment about 'doing that again' and remembered the first time he'd knocked his glasses into a beverage, thinking about anything to get her mind off that dream. She finished her cereal and put the bowl in the dishwasher as Luke sponged off his glasses with a towel. He crinkled his nose.

"My glasses smell like oranges." Clary laughed again. She was truly grateful that she had Luke in the morning to take her mind off things. She loved her foster dad like a real dad, he was the only parents she'd ever had. Her mom had died in a car accident shortly after she turned two, and her father died in a war before she was born.

"I gotta go Luke, see you in the afternoon?" She called over her shoulder as she grabbed her bag and stepped toward the door.

"You got it kiddo." He replied and shooed her out of the door. Clary was in a better mood after her usual morning banter with Luke. She felt her sadness being pushed away as she approached the corner where she and Simon met to walk to school. Without looking, she tripped over a ridge in the sidewalk and stumbled to her knees. Clary heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Simon standing over her, looking amused.

"Sup Fray? Or should I say down?" He grinned at his lame joke and extended a hand to help her up. Clary frowned at him and said

"Watch it Lewis, don't make fun of my clumsiness." She shot Simon a glare and grabbed his hand, a friendly gesture they were accustomed to, though neither of them had feelings for each other. Just as friends, they walked down the sidewalk on the way to school.

~(#)(#)(#)~(#)(#)(#)~

From his car a little ways behind them, Jace could see their entwined fingers, and felt a strange emotion boiling in the pit of his stomach. Jealousy? No, Jace Wayland was never jealous. He really needed to get his mind out of the gutter and quit thinking about Clary. She probably wanted nothing to do with him, that much was made clear by her reaction yesterday. Jace made a plan in his head to get his mid off Clary. He needed to work on his social status again. At his old school, it hadn't taken long to get to the top, to have every girl fawning over him and have every guy wanting to be his best friend, so surely it couldn't be hard here too. What he needed, was a girlfriend, and to get on a sports team. He needed to get in with the 'crowd', so he would be socially separate from the girl that had his heart a year ago. If there was one thing Jace Wayland needed, it was a distraction.

Strategizing was the best thing to do. From his first day, he say that most of the 'populars' were the slutty cheerleaders that never play hard to get and are really easy to go for. Sure, they're clingy, but if he wanted a real status, one that would for sure keep Clary away, he needed to be the player he used to be. He needed to get girls falling for him, and then hating him, but still wanting him, because the really clingy ones always think that you still love them, even after the breakup. Jace smiled his signature cocky grin to himself as he pulled into the school parking lot. He was back. The old Jace Wayland who thought of girls as conquests and didn't take any crap from anybody was back. The fake Jace, his decoy, alter ego, whatever you care to call it. He walked into school with his head held high and a smirk plastered to his face like he owned the building. This was going to be so easy. Stepping into homeroom he caught sight of his first target; Aline.

~(#)(#)(#)~(#)(#)(#)~

Simon waved as he caught sight of the Lightwoods and tugged on Clary's arm, signaling for her to follow him. Clary sighed and stumbled along after Simon. She was definitely in a better mood than she was when she woke up, but she wasn't feeling very enthusiastic right now. She just couldn't win, could she? She was distant as she said her 'hellos' to her friends and stared off into space. Over by the entrance to the school Jace was standing over a petite Asian girl with long black hair. Aline. Aline's face was flushed and she was looking down, Jace held her hand in his and had that signature cocky smirk that Clary knew all too well plastered to his face. _Of course he would go for someone like Aline, it's just like the Jace everybody knew before we dated. _Clary thought to herself. She tried not to think about it, but she couldn't help but feel that she belonged there holding his hand, and even though he was only across the parking lot, it seemed like a mile away.

Clary snapped back into focus as her group of friends moved towards the school. She adjusted the strap to her messenger bag and followed along behind Magnus, swearing that he was sheeding his glitter on her.

Homeroom was drab, as usual, and it was made worse by Aline's constant giggles as Jace flirted with her. Clary knew this was just a ploy, however. Jace just wanted to get back to his old self. The notorious player. She scowled and looked away, listening to the bell ring and drawing on her paper instead of taking notes. Today was going to be a long day.

A/N So? You likey? Me hope so. I promise that next chapter will take place at school, I just felt if I wrote more I would be droning on and I hate when I do that. I hope the layout wasn't confusing to you. And I know I have updated once a day so far and I would love to be able to maintain that schedule but I don't know if I can. I will try my best to update everyday but more than likely I'll be sticking to the schedule at the top. So my lovelies, I love all of you for reviewing, and I would love you even more if you reviewed again. You're the best. Yours truly,

~Da Book Lady~

P.S. Hey, if you decide to leave a review can you please tell me how old I sound when I write, my friends say I sound alot older than I am, but I wanna hear what you guys have to say. Thanks yous!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N So here it is! Chapter Three! So I was so happy when I read all the review I got for the last chapter, I even picked up a few new readers so YES! *fist pump* I can't believe that you guys thought I was around 15-19. I'm not allowed to tell you my real age because my mom would kill me. What I can tell you is that you were way off. Sooo yea. I can't believe that. I got the biggest smile when I read those reviews. You guys are seriously the best. I would reply in a PM but I can't since you're technically an 'anonymous reviewer' but to Nightwolf, I didn't think you were pressuring me at all! I'm sorry if I made it sound that way. The only way I would ever be yelling or frustrated at a reviewer is if they left a flame. Other than that I am happy to hear your suggestions and listen to your critique. I love reading everyone's reviews and they motivated me to hurry with my homework and try to publish this next chapter! And I know everyone is confused about why Jace and Clary can't date, so here is the Jace POV chapter that I promised, and I REALLY hope this will clear some things up! I am attempting to write in first person, but it's going to be a first for me, I tend to stick to third person limited or omniscient. So let me know if it failed. Chapter Songs: Back To December-Taylor Swift, Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol, and What I've Done-Linkin Park. Oh, and for this chapter there will be a poem, one that I wrote, but it's in separate lines, in a way. I don't know how to explain it but

Disclaimer: I own zilch, nada, noodle. Nothing. Zip. Zero.

Flirting with Aline was repulsing. Her giggles were high pitched and annoying and her voice was terrible irritating. I don't know if she was trying to sound seductive or what, but it was driving me crazy. When the bell for first period finally rang she had to go and sit at her desk and I was thankful to be rid of her. My moment of relief only lasted a brief second though; it was destroyed when the teacher told us we were studying poetry. Poetry of all things. The assignment was to write a poem with a partner she assigned, on a topic of our choice. So of course I was dreading who I would be put with. If it was Aline or Kaelie they'd probably want me to act all sensitive and write a long sappy love poem, and I so don't do sappy. I tried to ignore that I wanted to be with Clary, because I knew she hated me. I wish there was something I could to, but there isn't anything. I broke up with her, because I knew I wasn't good enough. Yeah, it sounds really stupid, but a year ago I was the happiest man alive because I had her, but I knew that Clary was way too good for me. I could never be the man she needed or deserved, and I thought that breaking up with her would be best. Turns out, it was the worst thing I could have ever done. Now, I sat here like some character from a soap opera, droning on in my head about how badly I want her back.

"Okay class, your partners will be: Aline and Simon, Kaelie and Sebastian, Isabelle and Jonathan, Jace and Clary, and Alec and Magnus. Get seated with your partner and begin to discuss what you want to do your poem on, and what technique you want to use. Your requirements for the project are these: The poem must have four stanzas, and each partner will have written two of them. The techniques you can use are assonance, rhyme scheme, metaphor, simile, personification, and hyperbole. No alliteration poems allowed. If you and your partner decide to use rhyme scheme your rough copy that you will turn into me along with your final draft must have the scheme identified and explaining if the rhyme is a slant rhyme or not. The poem will be due by Monday next week, so that gives you today, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and the weekend to work on it. You and your partner will receive the same grade, so you need to both try. That is all, you may begin."

Her speech ended with murmurs of disappointment at who their partner was to be, and the shuffling of feet and chair legs as people moved to sit with their partners. I groaned and lay my head in my hands. This teacher was surely trying to kill me. I was about to get up to go over to Clary's desk when I saw a flash of her red hair out of the corner of my eye.

"Hi Jace." She said nervously and sat down on the other side of my desk. I smiled a shaky smile and said,

"So Clary. Listen to me, because I think it's important. I know we've had a…" I groped for the right word "History. Let's call it that. But in order to make this assignment work we need to at least be okay with each other. I don't want to talk about our past now, but I think we need to forget that now and try to be friends, and later, when we're more comfortable with it, we can talk. How does that sound?" I asked, hoping my voice wasn't too shaky as I spoke. I tried a small smile at the end of my sentence, but all that came was a blank look of nerves.

"I think I can do that." Clary said sheepishly and I smiled. She was okay with being friends. Just friends, and though most guys would hate the thought of it I loved the idea, because it simply meant being able to be with her. Even if not the way I would have preferred. "So what can our poem be about? And what technique do you want to use?" She asked me, seeming anxious to get to the assignment. I thought for a moment, and said;

"I think our poem should be about our renewed friendship. That's an emotional enough topic, right? And I think poems are supposed to be emotional." I said, looking at the desk, not at Clary. I was afraid she'd hate the idea.

"I- I think that's a great idea Jace. I love it. So… do you have an idea for the first stanza that you could work on tonight that I can base mine on or… do you want me to write the first part?" Clary asked. I looked up and saw that she was biting her lip, and old habit I remember of hers that she used to do when she was nervous. Of course she was nervous, so was I. Hopefully, this poem wouldn't crush our chances of being friends.

"Actually, I want to write the first part. Tomorrow I'll bring it in and you can help me edit it, and base your stanza on mine, if that's okay." I replied, feeling a little more confidant as the idea sunk in. Clary returned the smile and reached out to take my hand, shaking it like a business man.

"Deal." I laughed at her formality and felt myself remembering how natural it felt to be with her, wishing that she could remember it too. Clary gathered her things and went back to her desk to sit down before the bell rang, and when it did, I was off to second period like the wind, hoping Aline wouldn't have the chance to catch up with me. I was starting to change my mind about my newfound conquest, I had a feeling Clary would like me less if I was as much of a player as I was before.

The rest of the day blurred on for me, but lunch was dreadful. In the hall, Aline snagged my sleeve and pulled me to sit with her cheerleader friends, who giggled and flirted to an impossibly annoying extreme. I tried to look around for Clary to see if I could sit with her and try to get to know her friends, but I couldn't see her. Instead of doing something about the girl practically sitting in my lap, I just sat there, thinking of what I could put in the first stanza of this poem.

=0=0=0=0=0=

When the day was over I was glad. I really wanted to get home to work on this poem. As nerdy as it might have sounded, the assignment sounded kind of fun. When I got to my house I flopped onto my bed with a notepad and a pen, ready to think of something. Something friendly, something that wouldn't freak Clary out if she read it. I floated into a dream like haze as old memories and thoughts came back to me, a new line of the poem flowing onto the paper with every one of them.

_ She was standing on the other side of the hallway from me, talking to that annoying blonde girl Stacey. For some reason, today Clary looked different to me. More beautiful, not that she wasn't already. It was just that today, she caught my eye more than usual. Her red hair was down, the way I thought looked prettier, and she was wearing a simple t-shirt and some paint splattered jeans. Her eyes sparkled as she laughed at something her friend had said, and I couldn't help but feel that one day, I wanted to make her laugh like that._

**Your dazzling smile a mile wide**

**Wings so soft and free**

**Make you laugh make you cry**

**I want you for me**

_ I tried to get her attention again today, and I think I made her smile. And even though I may be making progress with Clary, I can't help but feel I'm unworthy. I want to try harder, because Clary's totally worth it, and one can only try so hard for such perfection._

**Every day I try so hard**

**To be good enough for those wings**

**But one can only get so far**

**If your wings weren't meant for me**

_ Today was it. She noticed me. I was so happy. Finally, we could be together. The angel took me in and lifted me up. Being with Clary made me a better person, a happier person, she tried to make me worthy, make our relationship work._

**You lift me up you take me in**

**You try hard to give me wings**

**But that's impossible when**

**Your wings weren't meant for me**

_ That cold weekend in September I realized that our efforts were futile. It would never work because in the end I would never be enough for her. If I let my relationship with Clary last any longer the heartbreak would only be greater. I needed to end it now. I was so glad I tried to be enough, but Clary was just so perfect, and I wasn't. I needed to let her go so she could be with someone for deserving._

**That day came I finally realized**

**I could never have those wings**

**But I was glad that I tried**

**And now I've set you free**

I stopped writing and leaned back to read what I had written. _Whoa. _I thought to myself. While writing the poem I hadn't really been paying attention, just writing as I remembered. The poem was overly emotional; I could never let Clary see it. The poem proves just how bad I had it for her, and she can't handle that. Not when we've just decided to become friends. I sighed in frustration and threw the notepad on the floor. How was I supposed to write a poem on friendship when I was in love with her? I ran my hands through my hair and leaned back on my bed with my eyes closed. I release a gush of breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and thought that maybe if I just laid here, the world would melt away, and I could be brought back to the happy months before Clary moved. When I was able to forget all that made me unworthy, and we could just be together.

A/N OMG Did my first person epically fail or what? I hope that cleared some stuff up. So basically Jace broke up with Clary because he thought he wasn't good enough, and he thinks that now, they can't be together because he thinks he hurt her too badly and she won't want him. Also, how was my poetry? Did that fail too? Maybe this chapter was just a fail. Idk. Send me a review! And just to tell you even though this chapter might have cleared some things up, the conflict is nowhere near being resolved, we got a lot to go. Goodbye my lovelies!

~Da Book Lady~


	5. Long Shouty AN, you can skip

A/N I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! I JUST DELETED THIS STORY OFF THE WEBSITE BY ACCIDENT AND I LOST ALL MY REVIEWS! I JUST MESSAGED ALL MY READERS/REVIEWERS BUT SERIOUSLY? I HAD **38 FREAKING REVIEWS!** AND THEY'RE ALL GONE! WTH DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? I AM SOOO PISSED ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY AND I DIDN'T EVEN EAT DINNER! GRRR... SCREW THE WORLD! THIS SUCKS. THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY. LETS JUST SAY THAT BECAUSE OF MY DEPRESSED/ANGRY STATE THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS WILL BE VERY ANGSTY. I WILL TAKE MY ANGER OUT ON THE CHARACTERS. THIS JUST RUINED MY WEEK, AND ITS SPRING BREAK TOO. OH JOY.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I totally forgot about this fanfiction! So volleyball picked up and we had practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays for 2 and a half hours, and 3 hours on Sunday. Tournaments were every other weekend, and softball just started and I have practice on Monday and Saturday and games on Wednesday and Friday. I also had flute lessons on Thursdays but this week's lesson will be my last one because my teacher is also in charge of the highschool color-guard and she has that on Thursdays. Combine all that with the fact that my teachers give an obscene amount of homework and I have an algebra final coming up in a week you get the result: I have no time to update and I forget about the fiction entirely. I am so so sorry and I realize I probably lost a lot of readers. In fact, the reason why I remembered it was because I was checking my e-mail and I had a notice for a review posted on 5/6/11 and I clicked on it and remembered that I hadn't updated in over a month! Sorry. :( Well I really hate this chapter because I've never really been able to write Isabelle's character. She's not really my favorite either, but Clary needs a best friend she can talk to and I'm afraid if I write an OC you'll all hate her. So yeah, this chapter sucks, and to be truthful, I'm loosing my muse for this fandom. I'm leaning more towards Klaine and Glee now, not so much Clace or Malec. After I finish the story I think I might leave this fandom and go write Klaine fics. But as a goodbye present I'm gonna really crack down and finish this over the summer since I only have two more weeks of school.

The bell that signaled ninth period was over and the students could go home rang, and Clary gathered her books off her desk and walked over to the door to meet Isabelle.

"Hey Clary." She said with a smile and paused to let Clary walk out the door first.

"Hi Izz." Was Clary's only, halfhearted reply. She wasn't on that great of a mood today, the poetry assignment from English was making her anxious.

"Clary, what is up with you lately? You know what we need to do? We need to have a girl's night with shopping and nail painting and girl talk because there is something up with you, and I am going to find out what. You're driving to my house and we are shopping today. No protest." Isabelle turned on her heel and glared that demanding 'if you don't listen to me I will hurt you' glare. Clary sighed and muttered consent before moving to go to her locker. Shopping was going to be torture, but at least she would be able to explain some things to Isabelle. They walked out of the school in silence together and Clary hopped in her car to follow Isabelle to the Lightwood's house. Clary decided to leave her bag in the car and walked up to the front porch with Isabelle. Isabelle opened the door and Clary walked through, sitting down on a stool in the kitchen.

"You thirsty?" Isabelle asked over her shoulder as she opened the door to the fridge.

"Let's just get coffee at the mall. We can eat there too Izzy, I don't want anything you've cooked." Clary replied and smiled when Isabelle glared at her. They all knew Izzy was a terrible cook, even Isabelle herself, but she hated it when people made fun of her cooking skills, or lack of them. Isabelle's phone vibrated and she broke her glare to read her new text.

"Alec says he's gonna be at Magnus' until nine thirty-ish so we have the house to ourselves until Max's bus gets her. So do you wanna do nails now and leave when Max gets home?" Isabelle asked. Clary shrugged and Isabelle grabbed her arm, tugging Clary into her room. Clary sighed and let herself get dragged, bracing herself for one of Isabelle's worst forms of torture.

"You have some explaining to do Clary. Ever since that new kid came yesterday you've been avoiding talking to people and you are all sad. We didn't even hang out after school yesterday. Do you know him from somewhere? Jace seems like a nice person, okay, maybe a bit of a douche, but he seems okay. What do you have against him? Oh, and what color nail polish do you want?" Isabelle asked while rooting through her closet to find the nail polish kit.

"Dark purple. And yea, you could say I knew, know him. He went to my school before I moved." Clary replied without actually looking at Isabelle. The subject was touchy for her still, and Clary wasn't sure she liked the idea of an Isabelle that knew what had happened between her and Jace. She'd probably go all super protective best friend on him and Jace would never talk to Clary again, and Clary didn't know if she liked that idea or not. It seemed that lately, Clary didn't know how she felt about anything. She felt Isabelle's gaze on her and knew that she knew there was more to the story than Clary was telling.

"Clary, you aren't telling me everything. If you explain, I might be able to do something. We tell each other everything, why is now any different?" Isabelle pleaded with her, and Clary knew she had to talk. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for the long, sad story.

"Well, Jace and I knew each other at my old school… It was like this:

Jace was Mr. Popular. He was the biggest player in the school and all the cheerleaders were after him, all the normal girls swooned, but knew better, and the losers like me just stayed away. I always thought there was more to Jace than that. He had this armor, an unbreakable, untouchable façade, but I thought I could get to the real him. My old best friend Stacey warned me about him countless times. She couldn't imagine a Jace that wasn't cold-hearted and arrogant. All the days where I would stand and watch him at school with his girlfriend of the week I would see how irritated he looked. How in the depths of his golden eyes there was something more than his careless shell. I tried explaining this to Stacey to no avail. Eventually, Jace and I were partnered for a science project. I had my chance to break that shell and get to the real Jace that I thought I saw, that I thought," Clary choked on her words,

"That I thought I was in love with. When I told Stacey she shook her head and just gave me this menacing stare. She turned to walk away without a word and that was it. I had lost my best friend. It was silly that she left me because of Jace; I didn't know what he had done to her to make her hate him so much. I started spending more time with Jace after that. We became good friends, and I was accepted into the popular crowd. I went to all their parties and the cheerleaders were my best friends. I sat with Jace and his buddies at lunch and forgot about my old friends. Stacey had made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. Our friendship was over. That was fine with me. Over time, Jace and I's friendship grew into something more. He asked me out, and we dated. I was so happy, but Jace always seemed unsure of himself, always thought he would mess up, or disappoint me. I shrugged it off, I was in love with him and I didn't think anything could come between us." Clary looked up at Isabelle and swallowed the sob that was building up in her throat. This next part was the sad part. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and continued on with her story.

"We had been dating for a few months now. I had noticed how weird Jace was acting. He still looked at me with love and admiration, but something else too. Worry and anticipation. He seemed like he was trying really hard to impress me, or to be good enough for me, but I didn't think he wasn't good enough. I thought Jace was perfect. Throughout all of our relationship he seemed hesitant. I thought it was just because he never actually loved someone before. He had said he loved me. I loved him back. That gave him more confidence, but he still seemed unsure of our relationship. He always had his doubts. There were countless times when I had to reassure him that I loved him, and I thought he was perfect. Jace didn't think he was worthy of me, and I thought he was being ridiculous. I thought I knew what was coming weeks before it happened. He was going to break up with me. I was right too. We went for a walk one night a few weeks after I first suspected it. Jace was tense. I thought that he would look at me with a hidden disgust. I thought I had done something to anger him; something that would jeopardize our relationship, even though I had no idea what. I still don't know. What he told me, he said he couldn't. We couldn't. He started to say something about me, about him, but he never finished. Jace's voice sounded strangled, like he didn't want to say anything. I didn't stay to let him explain. Even though I suspected it, I hadn't dreamed of the cause; what I could have possibly done." Now Clary's face was wet with tears and she was staring blankly at a spot on the wall. Isabelle looked at her with sympathy and astonishment; the circumstances were heavier than she'd imagined.

"I ran home without looking back, and we moved soon after. Not because of the breakup, but because Luke's job got transferred to Brooklyn. I never mentioned him to you because it was a touchy subject. I never dated because I didn't trust guys. I never knew the reason Jace broke up with me, and I figured any other guy would be able to break my heart just as easy. Jace coming back here just tore open a wound that I had thought healed."

"Wow. Clary, I, I don't know what to say." Isabelle said with surprise. "Do you still," gulp "love him?" Clary looked at Isabelle and her eyes widened. Clary coughed and Isabelle regretted asking the question; clearly it made Clary uncomfortable. "You know what, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay Izz. In fact, I'm glad you asked because I think, I think I do. I don't know Isabelle. I can't be sure. I don't even think I'm ready to decide that. You know that poem we have to write in English?" Clary responded. She had stopped sniffling and her eyes were a bit brighter now.

"Yea?"

"Jace and I are doing ours on a renewed friendship. We've decided we want to fix things between us, but I don't think he still wants me… that way." She finished lamely and sighed, looking at the clock. Her story had taken up a good twenty minutes, and it was near three thirty, so Max's bus would be arriving soon. The nail polish had been forgotten, but knowing Isabelle, the shopping was not, so Clary would still have to endure her torture.

"Izzy, who's gonna watch Max while we're at the mall?" Clary asked, trying to find a reason for them to stay behind. If nobody would be home to watch Max they wouldn't be able to go, and shopping would have to wait for a day when Max had a sitter, or when Alec was home.

"Oh no! I totally forgot! We can't shop now!" Isabelle sighed and crossed her arms angrily over her chest. Clary smiled and replied with a smile of victory,

"Oh well." Clary made sure to lace each word with an extreme amount of sarcasm. "Can we stay home and watch a movie or something? I am really not in the mood for shopping." Her tone softened and Isabelle decided that maybe shopping was a bad idea; Clary was still fragile from their discussion. What she needed was movie time and popcorn.

"Fine Clary, we'll watch a movie. What do you want to watch?" Isabelle said making her way over to the movie cabinet.

"Hairspray." Was Clary's reply, she had a strange obsession with that movie. Isabelle grabbed it from the drawer and put it in, then she went to the kitchen to make popcorn. A minute later she came back with a bowl of popcorn and a blanket.

"So tell me about this poetry assignment… are you okay with it?" Isabelle asked and Clary pressed play on the controller.

"I think so. I'm just afraid we won't have anything to write about, pertaining to the topic we chose. We haven't _had _anything to write about. All there is between us is awkwardness, and I don't know how to fix it. I- I think I still want him, but he doesn't like me that way anymore, or, I don't think he does. I don't know, you're the one who's good at these relationship things, what do I do?"

"You need to treat him like a friend, and forget about your past. Forget that anything happened and rebuild what you used to have. That should make the poetry easier, and I think you could be happy." Isabelle responded. The door opened and Max walked in, his glasses crooked and his backpack half open. He was smiling adorably like he always did and his eyes lit up even more when he saw Clary.

"Hi Clary! Hi Izzy! You'll never believe what I got at the school's library today! They had a new Naruto book today, there was a whole new shipment of books and I was the first one to check it out! I was hoping you or Alec could read it with me, will you read it with me Izzy?" Max bounced up and down as he said it, flashing a brilliant nine year old smile. Clary laughed and Isabelle said,

"Later Max, Clary and I are watching a movie." Max pouted a little, but didn't complain as he left the room. The rest of the movie passed in silence, and Clary went home around six.

!

It was around 7:30 when Jace's phone rang, breaking off his non-existent concentration.

"Hello?" he answered in a mono tone. He was suffering extreme writer's block because how could he possibly write this poem about friendship, when his feelings were so much _deeper _than that.

"Jace? This is Clary." Clary? Why was Clary calling him?

"Hey." Why was Clary calling him? Maybe she had second thoughts on the poem, maybe she didn't want anything to do with him.

"I think I have an idea for the first part of our poem, can I write it instead? Or did you already have something? Jace, I really want to fix this. I want to be able to feel comfortable around you again, I want to have a real friendship where we can hang out on Saturdays and study together and just talk and laugh like normal friends, can we please try to get comfortable again? It's okay if you don't…" she trailed off, probably realizing how much she had just said. _No, _Jace thought, _that's okay, but not okay enough… I want more than friendship…_

"Yea Clary that would be great. And the friendship thing, I would love to try that. We need to get over the past for now, put it behind us, and maybe later when we _are _comfortable with each other we can talk and fix things, because I really want to make things okay with you." Jace rushed out in a single breath. Whoa that was a lot of words. He hoped that he didn't sound too desperate to fix things, if Clary thought that he still wanted to be **with** her then she would think he is undeserving, and Jace knew that, and then Clary would probably be disgusted with him and drop everything.

"That sounds amazing. See you tomorrow Jace." And she hung up.

!

Clary set her cell phone down with the force of excitement as she replaced it with a pencil and wrote. The poem was to new beginnings and sorrowful pasts behind them, it was for renewed friendship and the hope that the past is over. It is for optimism, and promise. With those thoughts in mind she wrote

**I had a wall, build to seal me away**

**It hides me, protects me, provides me a place to stay**

**Silly me, I let you in, all in fun and games**

**Yet you tore down the wall and left me there, shattered, never to be the same**

**Now we're here again, and awkward confrontation, bringing back the pain**

**And it washes over me, once I thought I could be me again**

**Turns out I was wrong**

**The present is what matters most and the past can be forgotten all along**

**We shove it down, we work it out, forget about the past**

**And together we light a candle of hope, true friends at last**

Clary smiled, set down her pencil and tucked the poem into her bag, excited to share it with Jace. That night she went to bed early and for the first time in a long time, she fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N So here's the dealio. First off, I want to tell all my reviewers, alerters (is that even a word?), favoriters, and anyone who's even read the story that I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS. Like seriously, you're amazing. I know that I promised I'd finish the story over the summer and I didn't, so it's understandable if some of you have given up on me and my horrible empty promises. But if you're still here, then I LOVE YOU and I cannot thank you enough. Like there is no proper way to put my gratitude into words. I feel HORRIBLE for not updating, but the fact is, my muse is in great danger of leaving me. Like, it is so HARD to get inspired for this story. And, yes, I know that that is an EXTREMELY shitty excuse, but it's true. I already know how I want the rest of the story to go and what's going to happen, but I just can't do it. That is why I've called in some help. My dear friend who goes by the pen name of writer3098 is going to be helping me write this from here on out. So yes, my dear readers, this story is now, a collab. She will post all my chapters that have been written, and then we will get started writing. The rest of the story will be posted on both our accounts so you don't need to go alert a new story, and you can keep reading/reviewing here and there because we'll send all the reviews we get to each other. Also, I wanted to mention that most of you probably don't know her because she's never written MI fanfiction (and posted it) before. She writes stories for a book called "The Outsiders" some of you may know it. If you're interested, hop on over to her profile and check out some of her stuff.

So yea… for now all you get is an Author's Note. I feel like such a cop out. I am really a terrible person. If you're still reading this, then thank you. Like seriously, I can't say it enough times, I still feel so bad. Sorry for my terrible-ness. For now, we are thinking of updating on Saturdays, our Saturdays. I don't know about those of you who aren't in the US. We still have some things to work out so we won't update like tomorrow or anything, but just look out for something towards the end of this month, beginning of September.

And yes, I am aware that I have broken the site rule of 'No posting just an author's note' twice now. It was for a good cause. Please don't report me.

Thanks so so SO much! I love you all!

~da book lady


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